Wednesday, December 5, 2012

It's all fun and games until someone ends up Autistic

Warning - some strong language

I know I've joked around a lot about my son seeing a doctor who specializes Autism.  His first visit went ok.  Concerns about speech and language.  No biggie.  Didn't even recommend formal therapy, just a home program called "Talk To Me More", which is a little off-putting because the name itself suggests that I don't talk to my child enough.  So, I did all the things they asked and we went back for a 3 month check up.  This one didn't go as well.  We went from a "very low level of concern" to things that were "very concerning".  Some excerpts from the appointment that play in my head over and over again:

Does he do this a lot at home??? (insert a very concerned clinician....writing furiously after I say no) 

Can he do these activities at home?  (insert a very annoyed mom who does not set up testing scenarios at home) 

He exhibits fleeting eye contact. 

He gets mad so easily. He can't regulate his emotions. 

Does he have difficulties with transitions? 

These things are all components of THIS. 

So, I finally ask, "what is THIS"?  Her reply, "well, everyone nowadays is concerned with Autism". 

For some reason I felt strangely calm.  I guess I've just been waiting for someone to say it.  To stop skirting the issue and just tell me what they're thinking.  I left feeling ok. But, in typical Michelle fashion, I starting ruminating about it.  And I've found myself teetering between two states. 

1) Proactive, early intervention outcomes Mom

2) Conspiracy theorist, you can go fuck yourself Mom

Excuse the language.  I'm not censoring. 

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