It's really strange to hear your child is anything less than perfect. Strange to imagine what life would be like for him. Strange to imagine me saying, "he's autistic" when trying to help someone understand his unique behavior. And even more strange to imagine the perspective of the stranger, "Ohhhhhhh. Now I see".
Go away, shitty thoughts.
And here's the zinger!! I did everything in my power to NOT have autistic kids. Yep. I planned it out. I could have written a book, "Common pitfalls. A guide to an Autism free pregnancy". I ate all organic shit. I avoided any and all medications. I planned on a natural pregnancy (who knows what that crazy pitocin does...the incidence of Autism did seem to coincide with the increase in epidurals and c-sections...there of course is no medical research supporting any of this). I didn't allow the immunization at the hospital AND I spaced out all their immunizations. So, screw you universe. I guess I could have eaten absolutely anything I wanted, had a pain-free labor and delivery AND given all those stupid shots at once.
I can't worry about his future too much because I will drive myself crazy. And I still don't think he's autistic. I really do think he is going to be fine. So, what now? Well, today I made an appointment for a speech evaluation. I'm working on "floortime" stuff, which is basically just sitting with him and encouraging him to interact with me (which he does already). I'm hopeful. Hopeful that he will be just fine. That he will start talking and all this will fade away. That I can tell stores about how everyone thought he was autistic when he was two years old. And as a successful adult Niko will say, "Mom, why do you tell that story all the time!?!?!?!". So hopeful....
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
It's all fun and games until someone ends up Autistic
Warning - some strong language
I know I've joked around a lot about my son seeing a doctor who specializes Autism. His first visit went ok. Concerns about speech and language. No biggie. Didn't even recommend formal therapy, just a home program called "Talk To Me More", which is a little off-putting because the name itself suggests that I don't talk to my child enough. So, I did all the things they asked and we went back for a 3 month check up. This one didn't go as well. We went from a "very low level of concern" to things that were "very concerning". Some excerpts from the appointment that play in my head over and over again:
Does he do this a lot at home??? (insert a very concerned clinician....writing furiously after I say no)
Can he do these activities at home? (insert a very annoyed mom who does not set up testing scenarios at home)
He exhibits fleeting eye contact.
He gets mad so easily. He can't regulate his emotions.
Does he have difficulties with transitions?
These things are all components of THIS.
So, I finally ask, "what is THIS"? Her reply, "well, everyone nowadays is concerned with Autism".
For some reason I felt strangely calm. I guess I've just been waiting for someone to say it. To stop skirting the issue and just tell me what they're thinking. I left feeling ok. But, in typical Michelle fashion, I starting ruminating about it. And I've found myself teetering between two states.
1) Proactive, early intervention outcomes Mom
2) Conspiracy theorist, you can go fuck yourself Mom
Excuse the language. I'm not censoring.
I know I've joked around a lot about my son seeing a doctor who specializes Autism. His first visit went ok. Concerns about speech and language. No biggie. Didn't even recommend formal therapy, just a home program called "Talk To Me More", which is a little off-putting because the name itself suggests that I don't talk to my child enough. So, I did all the things they asked and we went back for a 3 month check up. This one didn't go as well. We went from a "very low level of concern" to things that were "very concerning". Some excerpts from the appointment that play in my head over and over again:
Does he do this a lot at home??? (insert a very concerned clinician....writing furiously after I say no)
Can he do these activities at home? (insert a very annoyed mom who does not set up testing scenarios at home)
He exhibits fleeting eye contact.
He gets mad so easily. He can't regulate his emotions.
Does he have difficulties with transitions?
These things are all components of THIS.
So, I finally ask, "what is THIS"? Her reply, "well, everyone nowadays is concerned with Autism".
For some reason I felt strangely calm. I guess I've just been waiting for someone to say it. To stop skirting the issue and just tell me what they're thinking. I left feeling ok. But, in typical Michelle fashion, I starting ruminating about it. And I've found myself teetering between two states.
1) Proactive, early intervention outcomes Mom
2) Conspiracy theorist, you can go fuck yourself Mom
Excuse the language. I'm not censoring.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
I won a "you're pretty funny" award. Yay!
http://leighvslaundry.blogspot.com/2012/11/winner-masquerade-edition.html
I imagine there is a way to make this link live, but my technical skills do not match my funny skills so this lame link will have to do.
I imagine there is a way to make this link live, but my technical skills do not match my funny skills so this lame link will have to do.
Season 2 Episode 11 - Judge, Jury, Executioner
Daryl roughing up the new kid. Kid reveals that his crew is ruthless. Rick wants him dead. Again, should have left him for dead in the first place.
1) Shane makes weird mouth movements.
2) Carl sneaks in the barn with Randall, the new kid. Will these parents keep a fucking eye on their kids. WTF?????
3) Now Carl is wandering....aimlessly. Will somebody PLEASE supervise him.
4) Carl calls Sophia's mom an idiot.
5) Carl took a gun from Daryl's bag and is going back in the woods ALONE!!!!!! This is starting to annoy me. Attention writers - I don't give a shit how lax parents are...in a world full of zombies a parent WOULD NOT let their kid explore in the effing woods alone. Fix this stupid flaw in your story.
6) What do you know. Carl stumbles upon a freaking zombie in the woods. Extremely irritated. Go ahead and eat him, zombie. Teach your dipshit parents a lesson.
7) Group taking a vote on the kid's life. Dale is extremely disappointed with the group. Dale makes a good point. Why did you save him, Rick???????
8) Hell has frozen over. Andrea agrees with Dale.
9) I have decided that I'm not fond of Lori.
10) Dale... :(
1) Shane makes weird mouth movements.
2) Carl sneaks in the barn with Randall, the new kid. Will these parents keep a fucking eye on their kids. WTF?????
3) Now Carl is wandering....aimlessly. Will somebody PLEASE supervise him.
4) Carl calls Sophia's mom an idiot.
5) Carl took a gun from Daryl's bag and is going back in the woods ALONE!!!!!! This is starting to annoy me. Attention writers - I don't give a shit how lax parents are...in a world full of zombies a parent WOULD NOT let their kid explore in the effing woods alone. Fix this stupid flaw in your story.
6) What do you know. Carl stumbles upon a freaking zombie in the woods. Extremely irritated. Go ahead and eat him, zombie. Teach your dipshit parents a lesson.
7) Group taking a vote on the kid's life. Dale is extremely disappointed with the group. Dale makes a good point. Why did you save him, Rick???????
8) Hell has frozen over. Andrea agrees with Dale.
9) I have decided that I'm not fond of Lori.
10) Dale... :(
Season 2 Episode 10 - 18 Miles Out
What the hell! What a start. Rick, Shane and new kid being overrun by zombies. Shane finds refuge in a bus. Kid has hands tied behind his back and is scooting on the ground towards a knife. Rick has a bloody nose and is running about. Beginning credits roll.
1) Rick and Shane have a heart to heart about his psychosis. Shane fesses up about Otis.
2) Teenage kid tied up in the back of the SUV. They are driving 18 miles out...to dump him I assume. Rick should have let me die. He's a dead man walking on his own. Poor kid.
3) Maggie's sister has rejoined the living.
4) Rick decides to drive in town to give the kid a better shot. Rick is starting to annoy me (sorry Tanya). If you're gonna save someone then go all the way. Don't get him all fixed up and then desert him.
5) Uh-oh. New kid knows Maggie. Knows where the farm is. Rick is conflicted AGAIN. Shane is convinced Rick can't keep his family safe. Shane attempts to shoot teenager. Rick and Shane get into it. Shane throws a huge tool thing through a window and wakes up zombie commune inside. Zombies pursuing Shane. Rick hiding under one he just killed. Teenager frantically trying to cut the ties on his hands and ankles. Escapes last second.
6) Maggie's sister on suicide watch.
7) Andrea and Lori fighting.
8) Zombie sandwich piled up on Rick. Shane having a hard time keeping zombies at bay. Back at the farm, people are taking turns trying to talk Maggie's sister out of committing suicide.
9) It appeared that Rick was gonna leave Shane, but in usual Rick fashion he swoops in and saves the day.
10) Rick reinforces for Shane the rules and boundaries.
11) On drive back to farm Shane appears to understand.
End
1) Rick and Shane have a heart to heart about his psychosis. Shane fesses up about Otis.
2) Teenage kid tied up in the back of the SUV. They are driving 18 miles out...to dump him I assume. Rick should have let me die. He's a dead man walking on his own. Poor kid.
3) Maggie's sister has rejoined the living.
4) Rick decides to drive in town to give the kid a better shot. Rick is starting to annoy me (sorry Tanya). If you're gonna save someone then go all the way. Don't get him all fixed up and then desert him.
5) Uh-oh. New kid knows Maggie. Knows where the farm is. Rick is conflicted AGAIN. Shane is convinced Rick can't keep his family safe. Shane attempts to shoot teenager. Rick and Shane get into it. Shane throws a huge tool thing through a window and wakes up zombie commune inside. Zombies pursuing Shane. Rick hiding under one he just killed. Teenager frantically trying to cut the ties on his hands and ankles. Escapes last second.
6) Maggie's sister on suicide watch.
7) Andrea and Lori fighting.
8) Zombie sandwich piled up on Rick. Shane having a hard time keeping zombies at bay. Back at the farm, people are taking turns trying to talk Maggie's sister out of committing suicide.
9) It appeared that Rick was gonna leave Shane, but in usual Rick fashion he swoops in and saves the day.
10) Rick reinforces for Shane the rules and boundaries.
11) On drive back to farm Shane appears to understand.
End
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Season 2 Episode 9 - Triggerfinger
Episode starts with Laurie waking up in flipped car. With a zombie sticking his big face in the broken windshield. She gets away. Barely.
1) Group realizes Laurie is missing. Everyone starts freaking out, Carl included. He decides to run off and NO ONE runs after him. Yeah. Just let him run into the woods. That turned out well for the last kid. Wake up!!!
2) Outlaws have Rick, Glenn and Hershel trapped in the bar. Shoot-out ensues. Walkers surrounding the joint. Rick feels the need to save a teenage kid who was shooting at him 30 second prior.
3) Shane saves Laurie. Again. Now he can add another notch to the times he's saved her. Maybe he can bring that up again and win her over. I can totally see that working for him.
4) Shane is delusional. He thinks that Laurie was madly in love with him.
5) Maggie's sister is starting to freak me out. She needs to blink.
6) Dale needs to lay off Andrea. He's a pest. Don't get me wrong, I have no love for Andrea but find a hobby Dale.
7) Shane made a funny. For real. He's gonna get the new guy, Randall, some "candy and flowers". Ha!
8) Rick is making some weird choices.
9) Andrea and Shane are two peas in a pod.
10) Laurie tells Rick that Shane is delusional and scary. Show ends with Rick thinking intently about what she said. We're gonna have some reality TV Honey Boo Boo-like drama up in da house.
1) Group realizes Laurie is missing. Everyone starts freaking out, Carl included. He decides to run off and NO ONE runs after him. Yeah. Just let him run into the woods. That turned out well for the last kid. Wake up!!!
2) Outlaws have Rick, Glenn and Hershel trapped in the bar. Shoot-out ensues. Walkers surrounding the joint. Rick feels the need to save a teenage kid who was shooting at him 30 second prior.
3) Shane saves Laurie. Again. Now he can add another notch to the times he's saved her. Maybe he can bring that up again and win her over. I can totally see that working for him.
4) Shane is delusional. He thinks that Laurie was madly in love with him.
5) Maggie's sister is starting to freak me out. She needs to blink.
6) Dale needs to lay off Andrea. He's a pest. Don't get me wrong, I have no love for Andrea but find a hobby Dale.
7) Shane made a funny. For real. He's gonna get the new guy, Randall, some "candy and flowers". Ha!
8) Rick is making some weird choices.
9) Andrea and Shane are two peas in a pod.
10) Laurie tells Rick that Shane is delusional and scary. Show ends with Rick thinking intently about what she said. We're gonna have some reality TV Honey Boo Boo-like drama up in da house.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)